How to talk with you child to promote a Growth Mindset.

FIXED MINDSET: "You read that sentence in the book — good job!"

GROWTH MINDSET: "You read that sentence in the book — Do you remember when you were working on reading each word and now, you are reading the whole sentence--you worked hard to learn how to do that and now you can! You should be proud of yourself!!"  (focus on growth, progress, challenge leading to progress, their pride--not yours--about their work)

FIXED MINDSET: "You finished that puzzle so quickly — what a smart kid!"

GROWTH MINDSET: "From how quickly you finished that puzzle, I can see it was easy for you — let's find another one that will give us a bigger challenge and we can work on it together if you want." (observation of level of challenge, encouragement to push the challenge level up, availability to support if wanted) 

FIXED MINDSET: "You got an 80% on your test." 

GROWTH MINDSET: "You got an 80% on your test; that means you are well on your way to knowing this stuff! What do you think worked for you in the way you studied? Do you see any pattern in the questions you missed that can give you clues as to how to study differently for the next test? (recognizing what went well, reflecting on strategies, addressing failure/mistakes as part of the process without shame or soft-pedaling, planning for future challenge)

It's a subtle shift in messaging, but the difference it makes can be huge.